IT’S ALL DOWNHILL FROM HERE…

Manchester is the greatest city in the world for most things but it has to be said that the skiing facilities could certainly be improved.

Think about it, when you list out the great ski resorts, Val Thorens, St Anton, Vale and so on, Manchester rarely seems to get as much as a mention.

This situation must be addressed, but let’s not beat ourselves up about this, let’s stay positive and use this cold realisation as an opportunity to start mixing it with the global skiing elite. So while we admit that, ok sure…

– There are no proper mountains

– It doesn’t snow, it just rains (sideways)

– We have a distinct lack of ski lifts

– Chill Factor is just cheating

Yada, yada…on it goes. The struggle is real. But why focus on what we can’t do, when there is one thing that we can do better than actual ski resorts and that is the Apres Ski!

BIN OFF THE FAFF…

Skiing’s great, you know slalom and all that, but as the same time, ski hire is a total rip off and the activity itself can not only hurt your actual body but gets in the way of the real reason you’re dressed like a member of Cool Runnings’…the drinking! So let’s bin off all the faff and snowplough directly to the Apres Ski party at Albert’s Schloss.

Join Manchester’s official Apres Ski Club, where we promise to focus entirely on the more indulgent part of skiing. There will be a team meeting at Albert’s Schloss from 4pm every Friday. We’ve got roaring fires, homemade schnapps, fresh Pilsner, Alpine cocktails, Cook Haus dining, live bands and DJ’s until very late. (Salopettes optional).

TEAM MEETING AT 4PM EVERY FRIDAY AT SCHLOSS

Our Apres Ski ability is so devilishly on point, that we are now preparing a formal bid for the 2022 Winter Olympics. Ambitious yes, but if it was just about dancing on tables then we would be sure to win gold. Whatever the haters may think about this we believe that a Winter Olympics in Manchester has got to be a million times better than Putin’s ‘Sochi 2014’, where Apres Ski fun levels were bitterly below zero.

As Eddie ‘The Eagle’ Edwards famously never said ‘Who needs a mountain, when you’re Schlossed….’

GET ON THE PISTE EVERY FRIDAY AT ALBERT’S SCHLOSS!